Cold hands, warm shart.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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