take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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