is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
