the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
