sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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