i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
