You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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