we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
