dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize