my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
