i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So many bounce houses so little time
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
