his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
