Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
