we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
