I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
