So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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