its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
