so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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