I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
