ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
