My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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