so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
