If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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