fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Come on in and take your pants off
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