We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
