hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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