I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize