this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
