Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
