the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
