I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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