Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
