so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
worst night to have a conscience
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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