He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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