if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
