That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
