scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how drunk are you?
Several
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
