he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
