I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
