YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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