I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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