It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
