i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
