Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
