Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
