also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
