dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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