When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need to sanitize my soul.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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