Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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