Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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