i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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