so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
