I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dear god my vagina.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
