she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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