saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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